Ah Pek conspiracy theories about Mas Selamat

I like to hang-out at Kopitiams.

Food is typically better and cheaper compared to foodcourts and restaurants.
The conversations you’ll overhear tend to be more interesting too.

Most of this is due to the bigger presence of Ah Peks and Taxi drivers.
Demographically, kopitiams are hotspots for conspiracy theorists.

This was what I overhead this morning.

Taxi driver: “Wa piang, this Selamat, gahmen say eelang (missing) liao lah.  How can? How can he jump over 3 high walls with a limp leg?  If really jump wall, both legs also bai1 kar1 (limp).”

Ah Pek: ” You no know lah…… my old friend who knows people in high places say they pang seh (released) him.  They probably shoved something up his kar1chng1 (backside) and let him run.  When he meets his kakis, police sui2 sui4 one shot napshot all of them.”

Taxi driver: “Really, ah?  I thought GPS tracking needs to see sky one (ie. have line of sight to the sky).  In backside, no light. Lagi no sky. If Mas Selamat lau4sai4 how?  Sure lau4 out one.”

Ah Pek: “Oh really, ah.  Didn’t know that.  Another powerful friend of mine told me another version.  This one lagi tekong.  He say, hor, they accidentally killed Mas Selamat while interrogating him.  Die liao, police commissioner sipeh terok.  So they say he run away and body cannot find.”

Taxi driver: “Oi, die liao also got body.  Put where? “

Ah Pek: “Cook curry. Feed the teng4 lian3 (imprisoned) ones.  Maciam  龙门客站 like that ………… you don’t know meh?”

This is why I love kopitiams J